Why do "healthy" foods have to be so nasty?

As many of my friends and family know, I have been doing weight watchers for quite a while. I lost 20 lbs, and then fell off the wagon, and gained 15 back. I am now back to the program, and working hard to re lose those 15 lbs. Yesterday while I was at the pharmacy waiting for a prescription to be filled, I wandered down the "snack bar" isle. Now I am trying to get back into doing weight watchers, so I say to my self hmm these look good, Lets try them and see if they are any good. I get home, and I open the first one, Chocolate peanut butter cookie, and took a bite. Just sitting here and writing about it I can smell it, and taste it. it was absolutely NASTY! So I eat about half of it hoping that it will get better tasting as I go, no such luck. So I decide to try another one, a different brand, hoping for better results. Creamy peanut butter covered in chocolate, sounds promising, boy was I wrong! Cardboard, that is what it tasted like nothing but cardboard. needless to say both of the "health bars" went into the trash. As I thought about it I had to wonder How in the world do these companies sell this stuff? Obviously the people that continue to purchase them either have no taste buds, or...well I can't really think of an or, but my question is still Why do they have to taste so nasty? Why does "healthy food" in general have to be so bad tasting? My thought is that they make it taste bad so you wont eat more than you should, and that is why it is so healthy for you. In my family we have a problem with Gluten, so we made substitutes. When we started out more than ten years ago the food we had available to us was nasty, but we were not satisfied with just eating the nasty food, we wanted good food. we wanted food that we could all eat, and not have to make two dinners the nasty one for who ever has Celiac and the good one for the rest of us. So why can't the snack bars that are supposed to be healthy for you be good as well as healthy? Can you tell me that?

Ultrasound today

Zoe's ultrasound was today. This is a profile picture of her sweet little face. She has a big forehead, and is very flexable. while they were looking at her, she had one foot by her face and the other was where it should be. and then she had both feet by her face, and her arms in front of her face. you can see in the picture one of her hands I believe, but it might be her heel. She has big feet too. I can't wait to meet this little one. Seeing her was something I will never forget. All is good. She is healthy, and moving a lot. She weighs 2 lbs and 10 oz at the moment, and in the ultrasound pictures you can see her chubby cheeks. Right now, I don't know what is going to happen. I am not sure if she is going to stay with me, or if she is going to another family, but I know that what ever happens it will be the best thing for her as well as for me.

I know that I had a family picked out, but I wasn't 100% sure if they were right, and it was causing me to have a lot of conflict with in myself, so I told them that I am looking into other options, including other families. right now I am not sure what is going to happen.

We will not be tested beyond what we can deal with

Life can be hard, no it is hard. But When you put your faith and trust in the lord things can and will be alright, and you can do what ever it is that you have been tested with. Trials are a daily part of any life, and the harder your trials the more you have the opportunity to show who you really are, and what you are truly capable of doing. God does not give us trials and then leave us alone to deal with them on our own, but if we do not ask for his help he will not assist us.

You hear about things on the news. Assaults, people getting hurt by others, but you never think that it will happen to you until it does.

I have come to hate a single word in the English language. I hate it more than any other word when it leaves my mouth it feels dirty, it makes me feel sick from my very soul out. That word is Rape.

It is hard for me to even write it let alone talk about it. But I must. I have to or I will never be able to live a normal life again.

The end of July I turned 22. It was a fun time a very fun time. I was at a family reunion, I had plans for the next year, My whole life was looking so good, and then a few mistakes, a few moments of not being safe in every way I know how to be, and every thing changed.

I was Raped, in a parking lot, in the middle of the night, with my four year old in the car fast asleep. Most cases of Rape go unreported, and this was one of them, until I learned that I was pregnant.

Life is hard, and this is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I decided to place the baby with an adoptive family. and things are going well with that. I am excited for the family I picked, and I know that she is going to a good family who will love her in a way that I never will be able to.

Unfortunately I have to go and cry now so I will leave it at that for now.

life of ups and downs

Some times life can be hard. sometimes it is easy, and sometimes you just don't really care that much. I am going through one of those I just don't really care times. life has been a bit crazy, and I wih it was better, but I am working on it.

I recntly realized that I have been quite depressed for about 3 years. and that I need some help. This all came to me as I was standing in front of the doughnut section of my local grocery store doing math in my head when I started balling uncontrollably for no reason what so ever.

So I went to my Doctor, and got on some meds, and I set up an appointment to see a therapist. which is a step in the correct direction. I also am taking a leave of absence from my job to get my emotions strait as I wasn't really able to do my job how I was feeling.

So I have not been at work for about a week and a few days. I have been adjusting to my medication, and things are starting to look a bit cheerer. Today I woke up at 7:45 am, and I fed my son breakfast. The first time I have done it myself in....over a year. Then I took a shower, and did ALL the laundry. Which was exciting as I haven't really done a lot of laundry for a very long time. Most of the time I just do one load to get clean underware socks and a few shirts to get me until I have my next week end.

on top of ALL of the laundry I did, I cleaned my bathroom, cleaned my son's room, pulled his bedding off his bed washed it, and made his bed for him, and spent a few hours playing with my boy. All in all one of the better days I have had in a VERY long time. Even though I am miserable as I am having a Major allergy attack. Still a very good day all in all I was very motivated and I hope that I can keep that motivation tomorrow, and in the days that are to come.

Now on to important things. My little brother, who I lovingly call Munchkin, even though he is almost 6 feet tall, is going on a mission for our church on about 2 weeks, and I am missing him already. He will be in the Northern part of Brazil for 2 years, and I know that the time will seem to go by fast, but I can't help but wonder what my life will look like when he gets back.

I hope that it is in better shape than it has been the past few years that I have been living back at home with him, and my parents. But hope, and faith are all I really have at the moment, and I pray that it will be enough to get me to the end.

Also my sister Kate is moving home, and I am excited about that. She is a VERY awesome sister who I love a great deal.

My eyes and legs just started twitching so that is my cue to exit stage right to my very comfortable looking bed with its clean sheets and pillow cases. :)

The changes of life

My life has been changing over the last year sometimes at break neck speed other times so slowly that I don't even notice the change. But I have tried to smile threw all of the changes and make the best of my life. This last year my Husband of two years (I know it isn't very long but it still hurt) left me for another woman. He denied that there was another person, but with in a week of moving out he had a girlfriend that he was hiding from me. Now finally at last in two days I will have my divorce papers signed by a judge and I will no longer be married. As I look back and see how far I have come from the scared woman I was a little over a year ago. I am a strong person and I have learned many things like the meaning on of doing hard things, and what it is to keep moving forward. I have become a self reliant single mom who loves her son more than anything. It has been hard, but it has been worth every second of it. I would not go back and change things I have learned far to much about myself this past year to go back. Like I can be a peace maker and not be a door mat at the same time. I can stand up for myself and still have people like me. I can and will say no if something makes me feel uncomfortable. These are just a few of the many important lessons of Change I have learned recently and Here I am today as my life continues to change into something new And I am smiling...grinning from ear to ear.